People always ask

Whenever you have a baby people always ask, "so how is it with _____ (fill in the blank) kids?" What is the hardest? My answer up to this point has always been 3. 3 was hard for me. I had more children than hands, Keni and I were outnumbered, they were all pretty small, there are a lot of reasons why it was hard. Now I have 5 children and it has been hard. I feel like I am drowning sometimes. There are so many things I need to do and yet I have no time or energy to do them. 5 little people need me and while I am trying my best, I feel like it isn't good enough. I feel bad that I can't be doing more with my older kids, taking them to places and activities. I keep thinking, "maybe next year". Yet, at the same time, I feel bad when we are on the go, and my baby spends the whole day in her car seat. I know it has only been a month, things will get easier and better, but this is how I feel right now.

I have also come to the realization, that it isn't the number of kids that makes things hard. I'm sure this isn't true for everyone, but for me I think what is hardest is having a little girl toddler and a new baby. Notice I said girl toddler and not just toddler. I think 3 and 5 kids have been hardest for me because both times I had a 2 year old girl and a new baby. Somehow, having a little boy toddler and a baby wasn't nearly as hard (I've done this twice as well). My boys have been high-energy, rough and tumble, jumping on the furniture kind of 2 year olds, but my girls are CRAZY at this age. They are into everything, they follow me everywhere, they want to do everything I am doing, all the time.

Look at how beautiful they are.





You can see some of the crazy though too, right? Wish me luck.

Sweet Baby Girl

My Sweet baby girl is one month old today.

She really is the sweetest baby.

She isn't a fussy baby.

She only cries when she is hungry.

She makes the cutest little noises when she is eating and sleeping. Her noises reminds me of a little elephant.

She has baby acne really bad right now. Poor girl.

She is growing so fast.

She is getting chubby.

She likes to sleep with mommy.

She gets LOTS of attention from her older siblings, especially Jace & Lia, it is so hard for them to leave her alone.

She hates taking baths.

She is so precious.

She has my heart.

I don't know what I would do without him

I don't know what I would do without him. I felt this way after baby *1 but now that we are at baby #5, I feel it even more so. Things have been a little rough lately. Between being 9 months pregnant, giving birth, developing Mastitis (and feeling like death) and then having a severe allergic reaction to the medicine I was taking, I haven't exactly been at the top of my game lately.

And that is where this guy comes in. He has stepped up, taken over, cared for me and the kids, and the house, all without complaining. They say marriage is supposed to be 50/50. Lately around here I feel like it has been more 80/20. I am trying, I really am, but this time it seems like it is taking me longer to get back on my feet. Every time I start thinking okay, I can do this, another major setback comes along. And Keni just takes it all in stride and takes over. He is calm and he never makes me feel bad or like I am falling short, even when he comes home to a house in shambles, kids bouncing off the roof and a wife laying on the couch moaning with a crying baby in her arms.

I love him for that, and for a million other reasons.

Addie at one week You scrunch up your forehead just like Gordon did. You looked like Jace when you were first born. It takes you a few minutes to latch on but once you do you are a champion nurser. You are not afraid of the older kids or the loud noises around our house. You are my first girl to take a binky. You love to suck. You didn't have to go get checked for jaundice. My first baby to not have to. You don't fuss much but you go from fine to mad very quickly.

You have really hairy ears. You are darker than your sisters were at this age.

Your face is already getting chubby. You are perfect. We love you so.